Friday, November 02, 2007

Guest Blogger - P. Daddy

So I have a new addition to the blog - I have invited several guest writers to be a part of my new series of postings by my friends and loyal subscribers. I look forward to introducing new points of view to this literary debacle known as The Mer Show, and hope you enjoy it too!

Today, I'm proud to introduce Petri, who happens to be my ex brother-in-law, the father of my favorite nephew, husband to my close friend Shannon (and ex sissy-in-law), and simply a cool dude. I hope you enjoy his thoughts on Alanis Morrisette's hit single, "Isn't It Ironic".

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Almost nothing Alanis Morissette referenced in her song "Isn't it Ironic" actually qualifies as irony. "An old man turned ninety-eight, he won the lottery and died the next day. It's a death row pardon two minutes too late. And isn't it ironic...don't you think." No Alanis, I don't. These things are not ironic - they just suck.

That her song contains almost no examples of irony is indeed ironic. Here is some guidance as to what truly can be characterized as irony:

Dramatic Irony - A situation in which the audience knows something about present or future circumstances that the character does not know

Definition of Verbal Irony - A contradiction of expectation between what is said and what is meant

Definition of Situational Irony - A contradiction of expectation between what might be expected and what actually occurs often connected to a fatalistic or pessimistic view of life


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Maybe the song should be called "Isn't it a Bummer?" instead. What do you think?

Thanks, Petri, for being my first guest writer on The Mer Show. You rock!!

Love, Mer

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Mistletoe Mercado, Friday through Sunday

The Junior League of San Diego is holding its annual shopping fundraiser, Mistletoe Mercado, this coming Friday-Sunday (Nov 2-4). In order to respond to the community’s most immediate need, we will be accepting monetary donations for fire victims and proceeds of the event will be directed toward wildfire relief funds as well as our focus on education & nutrition for families.

The event showcases *select* vendors with quality merchandise just in time for the holidays. Other special events include happy hour on Friday, book signings of children’s books on Saturday, and Santa, children’s crafts & entertainment on Sunday, so tell your friends & family and come together! To the left is a complimentary admission ticket to the event (dates and times are on the ticket as well as listed below). Click on image and print the larger version, and you're good to go!!

When: Friday-Sunday, Nov 2-4 (Fri 10-8, Sat 10-5, Sun 10-5) – parking is free on Friday!
Where: Del Mar Fairgrounds, Activity Center
What: Unique jewelry, children’s apparel, women’s apparel and accessories, holiday gifts, gourmet foods, luxury pet supplies, home decor, raffles, etc.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween!

Love, Baci Romo

How's Your Belly?

Mine isn't my problem area (that would be my thunder thighs!), but I notice that as I get older, my waistline is becoming less defined. I thought this was an interesting article that I'd share with you guys on how to cut that pesky ab flab (it's more helpful than just "quit eating Twinkies and start running)!

How appropriate on Halloween, right? Leave it to Mer! ;)

Love, Mer

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The Best Way to Beat Belly Flab
By Mindy Berry
Studies show that ab fat is dangerous to your health. Here's how food, exercise, and even body confidence can help you lose it for good -- and lower your health risks.

The Facts on Fat

All fat is not created equal. Abdominal fat, particularly the visceral fat stored deep inside, is much more dangerous than the flab on your hips, butt, or thighs. The reason: Location, location, location. Think of it this way: Your liver and pancreas are like stately apartment buildings -- they're efficient, well-oiled machines that have been there forever. Belly fat is like the loud, disruptive neighbor who buys the building next door and turns it into an all-night dance club and lets the whole place go to seed. Before you know it, there goes the neighborhood.

But this toxic fat doesn't have to take up permanent residence next to these vital organs. Groundbreaking research shows that exercise may be the key to blasting it off your belly. Results of a 20-week study at Wake Forest University School of Medicine in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, found that women who exercised and dieted reduced abdominal fat-cell size by about 18 percent; women who only counted calories lost weight but didn't reduce fat-cell size. Generally, the greater the fat-cell size, the greater the amount of abdominal fat. The good news: When you start working out and watching what you eat, toxic abdominal fat may be the first fat you shed, says Donald Hensrud, MD, an associate professor of nutrition at the Mayo Clinic.

To fight flab effectively, it helps to understand exactly what you're targeting. Here's what lies beneath:

Subcutaneous fat is right under your skin. It's commonly found in your thighs, butt, and abdomen. "When our hunter-gatherer ancestors would eat all summer preparing for the winter famine, their bodies would store fat there before using it up," says Kylie Kavanagh, a researcher at Wake Forest University. But this fat isn't necessary -- or healthy -- today. It's also significantly more dangerous when it's in your abdomen, because it can adversely affect your internal organs.

Muscle is the next layer down. More muscle means you burn calories faster, which helps with weight loss. And since it's denser and more compact than fat, muscle gives you a strong, lean look. So build it up, baby!

Visceral or "toxic" fat: Found deep in your abdomen, this is the true troublemaker. Visceral fat has access to your portal circulation, the highway of blood vessels around your organs, and it likes to hop on. This can affect your liver's ability to manage cholesterol, increasing your risk of heart disease, says Pamela Peeke, MD, an assistant professor of medicine at the University of Maryland, author of Body for Life for Women and a FITNESS advisory board member. "Not only that, but visceral fat causes insulin -- the hormone responsible for storing fat -- to become less effective, making you more susceptible to diabetes," Dr. Peeke says. Studies have also linked excess visceral fat to an increased risk of breast cancer, although experts do not fully understand the connection.

Bad Habits That Make Your Belly Bigger

Now that you've got a clear picture of the enemy within, it's time to fight back -- and win. That means getting rid of as much abdominal fat as possible, no matter which type it is. "Subcutaneous or visceral, all fat in the abdomen can have negative effects on your health," says Dr. Hensrud. "It's important to target both."

The lifestyle choices you make every day directly influence the size of your tummy -- and we're not just talking about food. So...

Stop being quite so happy at happy hour.
If you drink in moderation -- no more than one cocktail a day -- the calories from the alcohol will likely burn off. But when you overdo it, they end up turning into fat in your abdomen. Experts say this is because alcohol inhibits fat-burning in the stomach, although no one fully understands how or why. As a result, calories from alcohol are more likely to become part of your visceral fat layer, making the possibility of developing a beer (or margarita or wine) gut all too real.

Stop lighting up.
Like alcohol, nicotine prevents fat-burning in the abdomen. So smokers are likely to have a greater amount of visceral fat than nonsmokers do, even if they're not overweight, says Dr. Hensrud. "Studies have found that smokers tend to have a lower body-mass index than nonsmokers do, but the dangerous abdominal fat they often carry cancels out any positive effects."

Stop eating trans fats.
According to a new study, these artery-clogging fats are more likely to go straight to your belly than other types. Wake Forest University researchers fed monkeys the same amount of calories, but one group got some of its fat from trans fats and the other got all of its fat from heart-healthy monounsaturated fats. The monkeys on the trans-fats diet gained nearly four times as much weight and had 30 percent more fat in their abdomens than the primates who ate the healthy fat. "One theory is that the body doesn't know what to do with this man-made fat, and the abdomen is a quick place to store it," says lead researcher Kavanagh. "Another idea is that trans fats interfere with insulin and its job to distribute fat throughout the body." The American Heart Association recommends eating as little trans fats as possible -- less than two grams a day. Easy ways to do that:

Read the ingredients list on snack foods labeled "0 grams trans fats." One serving of these products may contain 0.49 grams of this unhealthy fat. "The higher that partially hydrogenated oils are on the ingredients list, the more likely it is that a product has close to 0.5 gram of trans fats a serving," says Lona Sandon, RD, an American Dietetic Association spokesperson in Dallas. So dole out just one portion of crackers or cookies and then put the box away.

Make your own muffins -- or cake or cookies. The baked goods sold at convenience stores and coffee-and-doughnut shops are likely full of trans fats, says Ellie Krieger, RD, host of Healthy Appetite on the Food Network. When you bake your own, using healthy ingredients such as canola oil and fresh fruit, you eliminate these fats.

Hold the fried foods. "It's not necessarily the oil that's unhealthy, but that the frying process changes the chemical structure of it, leading to an excess of trans fats," explains Sandon. Unless a restaurant boasts that it's serving trans-fat-free foods -- as do Wendy's, KFC, and Arby's -- you can assume you're getting a substantial side of it with those onion rings.

Smart Habits That Will Slim Your Stomach

Start working out.
Regular heart-pumping exercise is one of the most effective ways to get fat off your middle. "Diet alone may reduce your weight, but it probably won't change your body's shape the way exercise can," says Tongjian You, PhD, now an assistant professor in exercise and nutrition sciences at SUNY Buffalo and lead researcher for the groundbreaking Wake Forest study on fat-cell size. "Abdominal fat may be more active and responsive to exercise than fat in other areas," he says. So get moving!

Start eating healthy fats.
To lose flab around your middle, you don't have to cut every bit of fat out of your diet. The key is to get about 30 percent of your daily calories from fat, primarily heart-healthy monounsaturated fats and omega-3 fatty acids, which could help you live longer (plus, you'll be less likely to crave the unhealthy kinds). New research from the Harvard Nurses' Health Study found that women who ate a diet rich in healthy fats, such as olive oil, avocados, and nuts, slashed their risk of heart disease -- the number-one killer of women -- by as much as 33 percent. Try adding some almonds to your afternoon yogurt and cook with olive oil as often as possible.

Start getting at least seven hours of shut-eye a night.
James Gangwisch, PhD, a researcher at Columbia University Medical Center, has the most compelling lights-out research we've heard. In his review of thousands of women, he found that those who slept five hours a night were almost twice as likely to be obese as women who got seven hours. Studies show that lack of sleep can make you hungrier -- it knocks the appetite-regulating hormones leptin and ghrelin out of whack, so you crave sweet, salty snacks. And it can increase levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which may be associated with abdominal fat.

Start playing your cards right.
"Think of your genes as the hand you're dealt in a game of poker," says Dr. Hensrud. "It may not be as good as you'd like, but it's how you play that matters." This is particularly true if you're apple shaped (meaning that you store fat around your abdomen) rather than pear shaped (fat goes to your hips and thighs first). "For optimal health, we should all eat less junk food, exercise regularly, drink in moderation, and not smoke," says Dr. Hensrud. "But these steps are even more important for people who are apple shaped, because they are at increased risk of diabetes and heart disease." By staying at a healthy weight and keeping your waist size well under 35 inches earlier in life, you're setting yourself up to stay trim as you get older, when your risk for developing many diseases increases.

Start loving your body.
Research shows that when women feel bad about their weight and themselves, they're more likely to give up on their diet goals and eat too much. So do things that make you feel good -- and that are good for you. Take a walk. Treat yourself to a massage. Before you know it, that extra ab flab will be nothing but a fleeting memory.

Originally published in FITNESS magazine, March 2007.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Excuse moi?

I was reading the MSN music news today and there's a link to check out Britney's new CD, and I decided to be open-minded about it and check it out. And people, it's actually really good!! So you probably have to like trance-y electronic dance music to really dig it, but as The Mer Show readers well know, I DO. Most of the lyrics are atrocious, hyper-sexualized "get naked, get naked, take it off, take it off", and generally make no sense (she meows in one song), but the beats are so good, it doesn't matter to me.

Anyway, if you're feeling adventurous today, I recommend that you check out the really entertaining train wreck: http://music.msn.com/music/newthisweek?GT1=7702

Love, Mer

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

New Pics of the Pup

A picture says a thousand words, so there's not much I need to say about this little animal who makes my life happier every single day!

Enjoy! Love, Mer










Tuesday, October 23, 2007

SD Update

So as I sit in my apartment, transfixed on my television and watching the conflagrations that are destroying my beautiful city, I just can't seem to process the fact that this is all happening about 15 miles away from me! The fires just seem to be growing and growing, and don't seem to be able to get contained. I guess the weather is part of the problem - it's dry, hot, and the wind is blowing like crazy (in one location, 70+mph!)... Hopefully the winds die down and stop facilitating the growth of these fires!! Some rain might be nice - Houston, New Orleans, could you please send us some???

For any SD peeps that might be reading this, please drop me a line if I can help you with a safe place to stay, or if you need help with your pet - Baci and I would be glad to help. Otherwise, someone just sent me a list of places that are offering free boarding:

VCA Hillcrest Animal Hospital

Phone: 619-299-7387

Fax: 619-299-7396

http://www.VCAHillcrest.com

246 West Washington Street

San Diego, CA 92103


VCA Angel Animal Hospital

Phone: 619-291-0042

Fax: 619-291-0239

http://www.VCAAngel.com

3537 30th Street

San Diego, CA 92104


VCA Emergency Animal Hospital & Referral Ctr.

Phone: 619-299-2400

Fax: 619-299-0413

http://www.VCAEmergency.com

2317 Hotel Circle South

San Diego, CA 92108


VCA Main Street Animal Hospital

Phone: 619-232-7401

Fax: 619-232-7034

http://www.VCAMainStreet.com

2773 Main Street

San Diego, CA 92113


VCA West Bernardo Animal Hospital

Phone: 858-485-7570

Fax: 858-485-5781

http://www.VCAWestBernardo.com

11605 Duenda Road, Suite D

San Diego, CA 92127


I dropped off some things at Qualcomm last night and am just about to help Urban Kitchen deliver about 300 sandwiches to Escondido High School, a Red Cross evacuation spot. I can't encourage all of my pals in SD enough (who aren't adversely affected by this tragedy) to use your time and energy to help out our neighbors. For places to volunteer, please check out these opportunities:

1) 2-1-1 is seeking volunteers to help in the next 72 hours to take calls and/or fill other roles at 2-1-1 should that be needed. Shifts are about four hours and training is available. If interested, email Meg Storer at mstorer@211sandiego.orgwith your name, phone number where you can be reached, your email address, and the dates/times that work best with your schedule. A 2-1-1 person will contact you directly once you send that information.


2) Individuals who wish to volunteer can go to the Red Cross Spontaneous Volunteer Center at Horizon Christian Fellowship, 5331 Mt. Alifan Drive (one block south of Balboa and Genesee) in the Clairemont area. Center hours of operation are 9 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. until further notice. Individuals can also call and leave contact information at 858-309-1261. Over 600 new volunteers were processed through the center Monday so you should probably call first. PLEASE DO NOT GO DIRECTLY TO ANY OF THE EVACUATION SITES, they are not staffed to accept new volunteers at this time as they help evacuees.


3) Visit the Red Cross and Volunteer San Diego websites for updates and more ways to help. www.sdarc.org and www.volunteersandiego.org


Gotta go. Please continue to keep the fire victims in your thoughts!! Mer

Monday, October 22, 2007

San Diego is on Fire

So I'm sure that most of you have seen on the news that there are wildfires raging across San Diego right now. Fortunately, I live right on the coast in downtown San Diego and am very safe, but there are many people here that are not as lucky. I'm actually quite concerned about some friends of mine who live up north and in the way of danger. I tried calling them, but can't reach them. Say a prayer for my friends, please.

Right now there are about 12 fires burning that are threatening most of North San Diego and my office is going to be closed for the next couple of days. After a mellow weekend, I was pretty ready to get back to work and be productive, so I was a little bummed to be at home again today. Baci is driving me crazy - he's in puppy mode this morning, peeing on things, stealing my pens and running from me, barking at the front door, etc. etc. etc. If I didn't put him in his crate a few minutes ago, I would have eventually committed dog-icide!!!!

Anyway, I'll be at home over the next couple of days, but am advised to stay off my cell. Send me funny emails, k? :)

Love, Mer

p.s. OH, and I fell off the wagon Saturday and am eating again. I'm a big, fat loser for not finishing what I started, but for some reason, the lemonade was just *repulsive* to me this time and I couldn't drink it!!! So without that nourishment, I just couldn't make it. But I do feel like I cleaned out a bit, and look less bloated. And I'm not craving meat or caffeine, so at least I broke myself of those habits!! :)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Master Cleanse, Part Deux

Well peeps, it’s that time of year again! The master cleanse is calling my name and I am answering the call. It’s going to be a very different experience this time, I believe. Shayne just went through the process for the 2nd time, so I sort of know what to expect from her experience. I think it’s going to be a little bit better knowing what to expect this time, but who knows?

The purpose of my cleansing is not to lose weight (although it IS a benefit), but to clean out my system from all the bad stuff I put in it… caffeine (although I drink much less these days), sweetener (ditto), meat, hormones, alcohol, and other toxins. I have been sick a lot this last couple of months, and my allergies have been torturing me, so I hope that cleaning out my body and starting anew will kickstart my immune system and keep me healthy throughout the holidays.

And I do have to admit that looking fabulous for the upcoming Junior League gala, my 32nd birthday, and through the holidays is going to be a huge benefit, too… hehehe

Tonight is the “last supper” before the cleanse and I plan to make it a good one! Lots of wine and cheese and all my favorite things! I will drink the tea before I go to bed, and in the morning, it’s 240 hours of cleansing…

Wish me luck!!!

Love, Mer

Monday, October 08, 2007

Exciting Announcement!

Well, friends and family, I have very good news. After 2.5 years of living with my awesome roommate, Prasad, I have rented a new one bedroom condo and am moving out on my own again. It’s been a great 2.5 years with Prasad – he’s been the best roommate I’ve ever had, hands down – but it’s just time for me to live on my own again. As you know from past postings, Shayne has moved out of San Diego – on to bigger and better things – and I have rented her condo. It’s a lovely space, and before she left, put in new carpet and had it painted, so it’s like a brand new place!

I'll still be living in the same building, but just moving from one apartment to another. I'll still have access to all the goodies that come with living in my building - the huge pool and barbecue/ party area on the 10th floor, the jacuzzi, gym, door guys - but NOW I have a parking spot. Hallelujah!! (Take THAT, meter maid bitches - Lady Marmalade has a home now and is sheltered from your putrid yellow envelopes!)

And I'll be able to hang out on the couch in my undies, eat ice cream and watch chick flicks ALL I WANT! I can leave dishes in the sink and clothes in the dryer without feeling bad, eat crappy food without anyone in the world knowing, live without worrying about Jasmine eating all of mine and Baci’s food, sleep with the bedroom door open, and basically do whatever I want, whenever I want. Yea!!!

I know that Baci is going to miss his girlfriend, Jasmine, but I’ll do my best to keep him in good company.

Anyway, just wanted to let you guys know the good news. Have a great week!

Love, Mer

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Movie Review: Superbad

Wow. This movie is supremely FOUL, but if you know me, I have absolutely no problem with that – in fact, I sort of enjoy it. :) But holy mother of Pete, Superbad was hilarious!

This flick follows one day in the life of a trio of really geeky friends who are about to graduate from high school in 2 weeks. It’s basically The Girl Next Door meets Dazed and Confused meets 40 Year Old Virgin. I’m not going to ruin the movie, because I highly recommend seeing it, but be prepared for some very clever, yet very wet, humor! I love it when a movie catches me off guard with its plot and dialogue and this one definitely did. One major theme in the flick is the male reproductive member, so if you have a problem with hearing about it repetitvely throughout the 1.5 hour run time, don’t bother seeing it. Otherwise, go see it this weekend and report back to me on Monday.

Have a great weekend! Go Horns, beat those scandalous Sooners! Love, Mer

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

The Mer Show Turns One

Happy anniversary to me! One year ago, I started keeping track of my demented and unremarkable thoughts, my crazy life events, and communicating with my long distance friends through The Mer Show. It's been so much fun and I hope that some of you have enjoyed it too...

Highlights through the year include:

*Introducing Baci to the world
*Getting laid off from Blue Oasis Technologies
*Fasting for 10 days (the Master Cleanse)
*Buying Lady Marmalade
*Getting towed twice in one year and lamenting scores of parking tickets
*Britney got divorced, Paris got arrested, and Mario won Dancing With The Stars
*Making new friends and losing some others
*Saving Davis the cat!
*I finally saw the Padres win at Petco Park
*I committed to the Chargers, the spinning bike, Barack Obama, and living as vegetarian as possible
*Watching my gorgeous nephew Finley grow into a little boy

It's certainly been interesting! Thanks for tuning into The Mer Show, and let's hope that the next year is just as exciting, but the most successful one ever for me and all of my friends and family.

Love, Mer

Monday, October 01, 2007

F Towing Companies

How do I hate thee, tow truck businesses... let me count the ways!

You take our cars away surreptitiously and scare the crap out of us thinking that our cars are stolen, then make us pay you $300+ just for the opportunity to regain what is rightfully ours anyway. You drive around with your big, bulky trucks and prey on good people that likely have legitimate reasons for having our cars in the wrong place at the right time. And most of the time, when you STEAL our cars away from us, you end up damaging our property. One of you actually wrote on my windshield once with permanent marker once and the jerk that stole my car this weekend actually left a light on in my car, draining my battery so low that it shorted out my entire electrical system! Poor Lady Marmalade is at the car doctor today getting a complete therapeutic treatment after getting so badly abused on Saturday night... This makes me extremely upset (and broke)!


How do you jerks live with yourselves? Do you hang out with meter maids at night, drinking beers, and laughing about whose day you ruined? Do you brainstorm about ways to screw over good people or damage our cars? Do you eat babies for breakfast to find the inner hate necessary to perform this job? You’ve obviously never had your car yanked from your possession and experienced the utter frustration of paying every single fee that could possibly exist just to get your car back… because if you had, you wouldn’t be able to sleep at night!

Tow truck drivers… I HATE YOU!

No love, Mer

Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Onion - Good Stuff!

For those of you not familiar with The Onion, this is a satirical publication started in Madison, Wisconsin about 20 years ago. It features satirical articles written about current events, both real and imaginary, editorials, interviews, and media. If you’re ever having a really boring day, I totally recommend reading through The Onion website (I think the print editions are only offered in a few locations around the country, likely with large college populations). It’s very intelligent humor and cracks me up all day long! Without doubt, my favorite pieces are the columns by Smoove B (http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/view/smoove) - Smoove is the BEST!


*Warning* - some material on The Onion is totally irreverant, sometimes a little sacreligious, always a little weird, and potentially offensive to some people, so be sure to remove the stick from your ass before reading!


Anyway, The Onion appears to be going mainstream - I actually saw an Onion article on CNN today. The disclaimer was hilarious – "Editor's note: This may look like a real news story, but it's NOT. It is from the The Onion, a humor publication that calls itself "America's finest news source." CNN may beg to differ, but we do enjoy a good laugh, and hope you will enjoy a weekly selection of their satire.” I guess that some people just wouldn’t ‘get it’ without the disclaimer, but still, it’s so funny to have to explain SATIRE! Hahaha

Anyway, this is the article that was listed on CNN today. I hope you enjoy it! Love, Mer

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POLOKWANE, South Africa (The Onion) -- After three rainy seasons together, a black rhinoceros and a parasite-eating tickbird are beginning to suspect that their symbiotic relationship has fallen into a rut, the couple reported Sunday.

The rhino and tickbird pass another morning on the African savannah not saying one word to each other.

"We're really symbiotic -- almost too symbiotic," the rhino said. "It's just gotten so predictable lately that I'm starting to wonder, 'Is this all there is?'"
First meeting at a local watering hole in 2004, both creatures immediately saw themselves as natural for one other and, in the words of the rhino, felt something "new, gratifying, and mutually beneficial." Within hours, the tickbird had moved into the rhino's habitat and set up house on his thick hide.



But as time went on, it slowly dawned on the couple that their partnership was perhaps merely one of convenience.



"I admit, when we first got together, I was a total mess," the rhino said. "She really helped me clean up my act. But we've been together so long now that I always know exactly what she's going to do next."



Devouring horsefly larvae embedded in her 3,000-pound partner's back, the tickbird seemed to agree that there was little fire left in their symbiotic relationship. At worst, she said, it feels like she and the rhino have been trapped in the same dead-end symbiosis for "countless millions of years."



"We just go through the motions, and there's hardly any communication," the tickbird said. "And we do it the exact same way every time. I get on top and take the parasites off while he just lays there."



"Feed off the embedded ticks on his hide, chirp when the predators come. Feed off the embedded ticks on his hide, chirp when the predators come. Where's the passion, the heat?" the tickbird continued.



The tickbird also accused the rhino of trying to make her "feel small."



"He doesn't realize everything I do for him," the tickbird said. "If it wasn't for my 'incessant squawking,' as he calls it, he would be shot by poachers before he even saw them coming."



Both creatures separately expressed envy of their neighbors, a plover and crocodile, who "never seem to have the problems we do," the rhino said.



"That crocodile appreciates having his teeth cleaned, and he makes sure she knows," the tickbird said. "Look at that big grin."



The rhino said that he often feels like a victim of her nitpicking.



"I might look tough, but I have feelings," the rhino said. "I give her plenty to eat and a great place to perch, but it feels like she's constantly pecking an open wound. Ugh, why can't we just be friends with mutualistic benefits?"



The frustration has caused the pair to act out in passive-aggressive ways. The rhino will frequently charge without warning, jarring the tickbird from her perch. Meanwhile, the tickbird often deliberately embarrasses her partner by speculating aloud about a symbiotic relationship with a cape buffalo or zebra, often within earshot of those species.



According to a nearby elephant, this sense of stagnancy commonly occurs in symbiotic partnerships across sub-Saharan Africa.



"The rhino and tickbird may have evolved physiologically to meet each other's needs, but it's clear they haven't evolved emotionally," the elephant said. "They need to recognize that in order to go forward. The rhino's loud snorting is very alienating. And obviously the tickbird is projecting her own feelings of inadequacy when she criticizes the rhino for being a typical Diceros bicornis."



For all their friction, both creatures conceded that they weren't sure they could actually live without each other.



"I don't know why we stay together," the rhino said. "I guess we're just creatures of instinctual habit."




Tuesday, September 25, 2007

TV Week

So most of you know that my New Year’s resolution the last couple of years has been to watch more television. WELL, I sure have accomplished it! And for those of us that love TV, this is a great week!! It’s the first of the new season for all my favorite shows!!

So last night started The Bachelor and Dancing With the Stars (yes, I’m a chick) and you *know* I was watching! So this year, I’m not really excited about any of the dancers that are on DWTS – there’s noone that inspires me like Heather Mills or makes me sweat like Mario Whatshisface… But it does appear that there will be some good dancing. And since the annoying cohost, Samantha Harris, just had a baby yesterday, at least we don’t have to put up with her annoying non-sequitur comments; But it doesn’t matter – the show is still enough fun to keep me watching every week. And Maxsim Chmerkovskiy alone is a good enough reason to watch – those hips make me crazy! Meow!

I know you’re dying to hear my pre-season prediction for the winner this year, and that is… Wayne Newton. Yep – Wayne Newton… he’s an entertainer and will probably make the ballroom dances look good. All the girls are either the uncoordinated type or the hip hop dancing type, and the guys are all talking heads or super athletes with muscles too big to really look good. I could be wrong, but this is my conjecture.

OK, regarding The Bachelor, the hot business owner from Austin... YUM! Where was THAT guy when I was there? Geez?! I’m not even into that blond, all-American type, but he’s really hot. And the accent? I guess I’m just a southern girl, but it really hits my soft spot (and mama loves the TX boys). I would NEVER compete for a guy, much less on national TV, but if I had known that this guy was the bachelor, I might have been persuaded. hehe

But seriously, what is with these girls that go on this show and just act like morons? There was the girl last night that showed him her webbed feet in the hopes that she would make a good impression (she certainly made an impression, but I’m not sure it was good); the girl that showed him her “human pretzel” impression; the one that changed into a bikini, jumped in the pool, then asked him to take his pants off and join her; and of course, the girl that got way too drunk and couldn’t talk, then pulled out her chicken filet (fake boobie) and confessed sloppily she was trying to look bigger breasted. Or the girls doing the booty shaking lap dances for him in black tie attire? I’m sure I’ve pulled some doozies before too, but never on national television while competing for a super hottie!

Anyway, the first episode was good one – I’m looking forward to the rest of the season. Tonight is the new SVU – yea! – and Thursday starts Private Practice and Grey’s Anatomy as well as My Name is Earl. Wooo hooooo! It’s going to be a very exciting week for this newly committed couch potato.

Anyway, hope you all have a good one, too. Love, Mer

Monday, September 24, 2007

Happy Monday

OK, the head is now clear after a fun weekend getaway to Austin. Well, not clear, as my brain cells are swimming in alcohol and I'm seriously lacking sleep, but getting away for a weekend was just what the doctor ordered! Getting back to Texas and seeing D is always so eye opening - I have so much food for thought upon getting back home!!

We never made it to the game Saturday, but watched it on D's giant plasma, so I think it was probably better than going to the game. We went to Whole Foods Market and got tons of food, plopped on his version of the Life Sucker 4000, and ate and drank ourselves silly. Some friends came over to join us and we were up til dark:30 drinking, hanging out, and playing Guitar Hero (more on that to come).

By the way, the Whole Foods in Austin was something like you wouldn't believe! Of course, it's their flagship store, as Whole Foods is based in Austin. The hot food bar was like a Vegas buffet, their cheese section was more extensive than anything I've ever seen, the wine selection was to die for, and the seating area had a stream running through it; it even has a kids playground to keep the little ones happy. It was unbelievable - even though our WF just got remodeled, it seems like a dump now...

And Guitar Hero... OK, this game is like crack. I've never really been into video games, but this was so unbelievably fun, I can't even tell you. So you have this little fake guitar that you use as the controller and basically play along with the songs. For every note you hit, you get X points. It doesn't work like a real guitar, so you don't actually have to know how to play it. There are buttons that you hit on the guitar that correspond with the screen, and show you which note to hit. It's really fun, the music is totally 80s hair band rock (which is a riot), the graphics are hilariously cool, and if you have 2 guitars, you can play against each other. If you get a chance to play it, you must - it's awesome!!!

Anyway, I hope you all had a great weekend too and have another great week.

Love, Mer

Friday, September 21, 2007

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw!

SERIOUSLY, it's been a crazy week! Between caring for my newly neutered puppy, helping Shayne get out of her place and moving all her stuff into mine (everything from 8 boxes of Jello instant pudding, 3 bottles of olive oil, 10 cans of black beans, a clothes steamer, a Swiffer Wet Jet and all the accoutrements, a dining room table, several pairs of fabulous shoes, tons of body lotions, a wine rack, and lots more), dealing with some rather upsetting boy drama, and somehow making time for a couple workouts, a hair color, and a massage somewhere in there… I planned an impromptu trip to Austin for the weekend. I had to cancel my trip to NC from the 12th - 18th, which was a huge bummer, but I’m excited to at least get out of town for a couple of days this week and clear my head. (NC peeps - I'm coming after the new year, I promise!)

Austin – live music capital of the world, home to my Texas Longhorns and Texadelphia (the best cheesesteak on the planet), and the scene of a few crimes from my past. I usually prefer not to look back, but as I get older, I feel much more of a pull toward my once-home. I plan to check out a football game and do some Texas-style tailgaiting, do some shopping at this fabulous new mall that just opened up (yippee!), and head out to Oasis to watch the sun set over Lake Travis. And of course, eat a ton of Tex Mex, barbecue, and drink as many margaritas as possible - duh!

Update forthcoming!

Love, Mer

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Ode to Shayne

So my lovely friend and neighbor Shayne has had about enough of the land of sunshine, plastic body parts, and underdeveloped etiquette. It's time to return to the Northeast where people actually read books, discuss current events as a way of life, go to church, and wear cashmere! Get out those pearls and winter coats, girl - you're going home!

Meanwhile, while I know isn't much about San Diego that Shaynie is going to miss, I think there might be just a few things she just might...

TOP TEN THINGS SHAYNE WON’T MISS ABOUT SD

10. Flip flops
9. Walking Max across the Autobahn to pee (9th Ave)
8. Her personal trainer here
7. Nosy neighbors (excluding me, of course; she likes it when I'm nosy)
6. The parking garage of Discovery
5. Having her fabulous winter clothes packed in boxes
4. Missing Boston, NY, and Philly
3. The general population of San Diego
2. The horrific dating scene in San Diego
1. Legal Arts

TOP TEN THINGS SHAYNE WILL MISS ABOUT SD

10. Sunshine and pool time at the Big D
9. Her dog nephew, Baci
8. The red kitchen
7. Spinning classes with Mer
6. Dog Beach at Coronado
5. The Rock Church
4. Café Chloe
3. Pink nights
2. The Life Sucker 4000
1. Her SD friends, especially ME!

San Diego (and I) will miss you, Shayne! Best of luck in your journey - in a few months, your life will be so drastically different and you're going to love it!! I can't wait to see how it all unfolds and will be supporting you from afar.

Love, Mer xoxox

p.s. Check out Shayne's new blog: http://web.mac.com/shayne.mackey

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Doggie Update

So my little Baci ball became a man and got neutered this past Friday. My little love bug had a super fun bachelor party at Yappy Hour at Metropawlitan Dog (he got to hump a Great Dane’s leg and hip) the night before, and got his rocks off before getting fixed.


It was only about 24 hours before Baci was totally back to normal and back to playing, barking, chasing, and doing all the things that puppies do. I wish I had the energy!! Here’s a sweet picture of the baby after his surgery – quiet and mellow for a change! The blue thing is an alternative to the lampshape thingy that people put on their heads to keep dogs from licking their wounds – I call it “the donut”.

Oh, and his haircut is looking SO much better – it’s growing longer on his back and he’s starting to get that ‘furball’ look again. He’s the cutest doggie in the world to me!!!

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. Love, Mer

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Prayers Please!

There are a couple of very special people in my life who have very special family members being treated for different types of cancer. Please keep Roni's mom, Jo, and Ruchi's niece, Meena, in your hearts and prayers as they undergo treatment for ovarian cancer and a very rare form of cancer called Esthesioneuroblastoma. That's a big, scary name for a sweet little girl!


Please get well soon, Jo Mama and Meena! Lots of love and positive energy, Mer

Cancer is so limited...

It cannot cripple love

It cannot shatter hope

It cannot corrode faith

It cannot destroy peace

It cannot kill friendship

It cannot suppress memories

It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul

It cannot steal eternal life

It cannot conquer the spirit.

-Unknown

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

September 11th - Where Were You?

I was living and working in Raleigh, NC, married to Jason, and about to move up to Newport, RI and eventually to San Diego for Jason to start his career as a Naval officer.

I remember that Fall morning being particularly beautiful, and I even noted to myself how gorgeous it was as I looked out the window of my coveted window cube at Manpower Professional. Around 9:00 a.m. EST, my boss Chris came over and told us that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. I immediately assumed it was an accident... I immediately went to the CNN page and the site was unavailable because so many people were trying to access it at the same time.

We turned on the TV in the conference room to check out the news and by then, the second plane had struck. I knew immediately what it meant - terrorism, tragedy, war. Not that I'm this incredible omnipotent or politically intelligent person (I'm SO not!), but I just felt the enormity of what was going to happen immediately. I knew that my (then) husband was going to be right in the middle of it. And here we were with this new president... I freaked out! I couldn't stop crying...

And then the towers fell, and I wept more for those that died. I didn't get anything done that day - I read the internet all day long and rushed home to watch the news. I was transfixed on the news, just like the rest of the country, for weeks, stunned and obsessed with figuring out what on earth had just happened!

About 2 weeks later, we moved up to Newport to live on the locked-down Navy base for a few weeks of training. On our way up, we stopped in DC and in NYC, but didn't see Ground Zero - I wasn't emotionally prepared to see what had happened, and am still glad we didn't go. I do have pictures of NYC, while sightseeing, and in the air still stood a haze between the buildings and city lights. I'll never forget it.

May the families and loved ones of the victims of that horrible day feel some sort of healed heart by now. And may those victims never be forgotten.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Mmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmm!

So if you have been anywhere near to me lately, it's likely that I've made you Macafoni and Cheese. Did Mer just commit a typo? NOPE! It's actually MacaFONI (as in phony) and cheese! And it's YUMMY!

As the foremost mac and cheese connoisseur, I am always looking for ways to sneak it into my diet. Well, diet is probably the wrong word... but who cares - it's SO GOOD, it's worth it! My favorites are my own Christmas version of homemade mac and cheese, Dussini's lobster mac and cheese, Chive's crab mac and cheese, Whole Foods' hot bar mac and cheese, and Lean Cuisine mac and cheese.

But Macafoni and Cheese is an amazing and healthy alternative, friends. Instead of pasta, I use tofu, which has an al dente texture, and no flavor, just like pasta. I use soy cheese, which has lots of protein and few carbs, egg whites, and soy milk instead of heavy cream. It's actually a really yummy option when you're craving the good ol' fashioned favorite...

So give this a try and let me know what you think! Even Petri and KT (the equivalents of Mikey) like it!

Love, Mer

Mer's Macafoni and Cheese

Ingredients:

1 lb. tofu, firm - well-drained
2 cups cheddar soy cheese
3 egg whites
1/4 cup soy milk
salt and pepper - to taste
1/2 cup onion
1 large clove garlic, minced

Use the firmest tofu you can find, preferably "cotton" tofu, as opposed to silken which is usually used for desserts. Drain well and press out extra moisture (usually not necessary with firm tofu).

Combine eggs, cream, and cheese. Dice tofu into large macaroni-sized pieces. Stir into the cheese mixture. Season as desired. Place in greased casserole (or small individual casseroles). Optional: top with additional cheese (I cheat and top it with real Cheddar or something like quattro formaggio).

Bake at 375 degrees F for 30-45 minutes until golden brown and slightly crunchy on top. (It holds very well in a warm oven.)

Serves 4. After fiber (1.3 gr) there are 2.6 grams net grams of carbohydrate per serving.

**Disclaimer - photo is of maCaroni and cheese, not macaFoni** :)

Friday, August 31, 2007

Yappy Hour at Metropawlitan Dog

Please join Baci and me at Yappy Hour on Thursday, September 13th for wine, cheese, prizes, and so that our doggies can wear each other out playing! :) Vicky Mann is the owner of Metropawlitan Dog and is excited about finding new clients. Baci attended training there, and has been groomed a couple of times, and they did a great job with both, and really love Baci (and vice versa)! I hope anyone that's interested with attend with me.

Time: Thursday, September 13th, 7 pm - 8:30 pm

Place: Metropawlitan Dog
811 13th Street
San Diego, CA
619-233-1364
www.metropawlitandog.com

See you there!

Love, Mer (and Baci - woof!)

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Public Service Announcement

This is a very important announcement! Please take note!!

Don't forget - Monday is Labor Day. Do you know what that means? Besides having the day off, sleeping in, pool and beach time, and barbecuing with our friends and families... it also means that ladies are no longer permitted to wear white! Tradition says that any white is off limits, but I just put away the white pants, shorts, sundresses, suits, totebag, sunglasses and shoes until Memorial Day. I personally think white blouses and tops are fine year round, though. And winter white? Totally different story - if you want direction regarding this rule, feel free to contact me for advice! ;)

So ladies, don't forget - wear your white clothes this week and weekend while you can (without etiquette-obsessed Southern Belles snickering at you)!

Just wanted to post that friendly reminder...

Love, Mer

p.s. The curse is broken - I saw the Padres win Monday night!!!

Monday, August 27, 2007

Sports Update

Hi guys! Several things in the sports world today.

1. The Astros Manager, Mr. G, got fired today! Booooooooooooooo! I guess in the sports world, you're only as good as your last few months, right? Fickle biz!

2. I'm going to a Padres game tonight - let's see if they win, and if I can break the curse!! Perhaps writing about the curse on The Mer Show helped break the cycle of losses when I'm on Petco Park property... Stay tuned!

3. It's football season again!! WAHOOOOOOOOO!!! I love me some LT and ready for some Chargers football. I can't wait to attend a game or two this season. And the first UT game of the season is this weekend, also. I'm hoping to go to Players, here in San Diego, to watch the game with the Texas Exes and channel my inner Longhorn pride! It's only Arkansas State, so it doesn't really matter, but who cares?? It's football season!

OK, that's it. Love, Mer

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Hopeline

Hi guys! Yesterday I was at the Verizon Wireless store exchanging my new KRZR (which sucked by the way; I traded it for an LG Chocolate, which rocks!) and came across something that I'd like to share with my peeps!

Hopeline is a service offered by Verizon Wireless, which collects old wireless, batteries, chargers, and cellular accessories that are recycled and refurbished for the purpose of distributing to domestic violence victims. By providing wireless phones to victims of abuse, Hopeline gives them a link to vital emergency services and support systems. Given that one in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime (scary!), it's possible that someone you know and love will experience this type of abuse...

So please!!! Please consider donating your old phones and cellular accessories to this cause. If you go to any Verizon Wireless store with old phones and accessories, from any manufacturer or service provider, they will rehab and recycle your phones to those that REALLY need them! And not only will you be helping those that need your help and care, you'll be disposing of your old phones responsibly and in an environmentally safe manner.

On another note, if you find yourself in a situation where you need help with domestic abuse, and you're a Verizon Wireless subscriber, dial #HOPE anytime, and you'll have an immediate connection with the Domestic Violence Hotline and they will help you take steps toward safety!!

Thanks so much!!!

Love, Mer

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Mer's Curse on Petco Park

So ever since I was a kid, I've been a sports fan - baseball, football, basketball, even boxing and especially watching the Olympic games. I was a competitive gymnast until I was 17, a cheerleader for all sports, and a certified Texas football nut. I currently own two football jerseys (one UT, one SD Chargers), one foam finger, several pom poms, and even have the Texas fight song in my iTunes!

Growing up, I went from kindergarten to 12th grade with (and attended the 7th grade Valentine's Day dance) with Eric G, son of the Houston Astros 3rd baseman, Phil G. Being in close proximity to this local athlete (George Foreman and his brood of Georges also lived in my community) made me and all my pals growing up especially interested in watching the Astros. I remember watching Astros games from the time I was about 8 or 9, and am still a fan today. In fact, now Mr. G is the Manager of the Astros and led them to the World Series a couple years ago (or was that last year - I can't remember...)!

Anyway, I've finally let go of the Houston Oilers and committed to the Chargers (hence the LaDanian Tomlinson jersey) and even though the Astros are still my fave baseball team, the Padres are a very close 2nd, and as long as they're not playing the Astros, they ARE my fave!

I have been to probably close to about 20 games in the new Petco Park (it opened in 2004), but every single time I go, they lose. I'm not kidding - I don't think I've ever seen a single game in person when the Padres won! KT and I did sneak into the end of a game once, and they ended up winning in extra innings, but there was no ticket purchased, nor did I even see the 7th inning stretch. Maybe that's the key...

I've sat in nosebleed seats, great seats, been to opening day, and one of the last games of the season; someone even gave me tickets once. And every single time I was there, the Padres have lost. If the Padres were smart, they'd pay me NOT to come! But it totally stinks because I love going to games...

So my goal for the 2007 season is to attend ONE baseball game in Petco Park and watch the Padres win. Do you think it can happen? Stay tuned!!

Love, Mer

Sunday, August 19, 2007

H-Town

As I spend my last night of vacation in Houston, I realize, once again, that I have a love/ hate relationship with this city, and Texas, in general. Some of my most favorite people in the world are here, and this is most definitely home. It's one of the few places I can relax in my PJs and honestly feel relaxed - in San Diego, I guess I always feel like I should be on the go, visiting with friends, enjoying the sunshine, exercising, volunteering, or doing something else really productive. Here in Houston right now, it's 95 degrees, raining, and more humid than I ever remember - who wants to do anything besides stay in and watch movies, read, and surf the internet?! It's an environment very prohibitive to fun activities outside, but highly conducive to relaxing!And my childhood home is becoming more familiar and a loving part of my memory as I get older - I guess that's normal, right? Oh yes, and then there's the food (the best in the world, as far I'm concerned - and I really mean that), and the fact that people drive the way everyone should - *fast*!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting back to my very naughty doggie, my state of unemployment and search for the perfect job, and seeing one special person, in particular; however, I have had a great visit in Houston. I have eaten until I'm going to pop, visited with my family and friends, watched some great movies, and decompressed from a few very stressful weeks!

A special thanks for the Darbys and Orrs for hosting me for a lovely evening Friday night! I love my boofuls little nephew more than anything... even when he's grouchy! :)

Mer

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Congrats Baci!

Congrats to my funny, sweet Baci ball, who graduated from his training class this past Tuesday. Coincidentally, it was also his 6 month birthday, so it was a big day for the little guy. My puppy has become a man, it seems! To celebrate with his buddies in school, he brought doggie donut holes covered in yogurt frosting and sprinkles, and passed them out to the class. That Baci sure is thoughtful to include his buddies!! ;)

For the last 8 weeks, he and I have been attending a great training class at Metropawlitan Dog in East Village (highly recommended to San Diego locals!!) and we have both been learning so much. He's learned how to sit, lay down, stay, drop things from his mouth, back away from trouble, stop at the curbs before crossing the street, and all sorts of other invaluable things. I've learned how to use meat flavored treats to coerce my dog into doing what I want him to do! Realistically, I was the one that needed to be trained, not the furball...

Honestly, so much of how we train dogs seems so similar to how a baby might be taught to behave - I have to keep this stuff in mind! I wonder if boyfriends can be trained the same way, but instead of meat-flavored treats, perhaps sugary ones... what do you think? Kidding! (Sort of...) See the baby with his party hat on to celebrate his birthday and his graduation - isn't he the cutest?

More postings on the way - it's been a hectic week, but I'm starting to feel inspired to write again. Stay tuned (Ruchi)!

Love, Mer xx

Friday, August 10, 2007

Bye Blue Oasis Technologies

So today is my last day with Blue Oasis Technologies - the business is taking a new direction, and my services are no longer needed. I'm taking this chance to take some time off and live off my severance and unemployment benefits to regroup and pursue some personal things that I've been meaning to deal with, get my baby puppy better trained, work on sculpting those perfect legs I've been dreaming about my whole life, and take a couple of planned trips to see my peeps out of state. It should be a nice break!

I'm not sure how this will affect my blog-writing, as most of it is done right here in my office, inspired by the active mind of a busy professional. Now that I'm temporarily no longer a busy professional, will I still be inspired to write? I'll guess we'll see!

There are several things that I'll miss about working here.

1. The Sorrento Food Court downstairs. When I first started working here, I was taking the train to work every day because my Jetta was still in North Carolina (long story) and I had to walk anywhere and everywhere to get what I needed. Thankfully, right below my building is an entire food court of restaurants from Afghan, vegetarian, pizza, Indian, Mexican, Greek food and more, which kept me nourished daily. I'll especially miss the old lady that runs the Greek place that asks if I want "Frenchy fries" with my chicken kebob - she's so cute!

2. My spacious office with all the privacy, storage, and room a girl could ever want. I've written hundreds of blog posts here, made thousands of phone calls, pondered the meaning of life, taken a couple of naps, had a few good cries, lots of laughs, and done a few things in here I can't discuss in a public forum. :)

3. Orchid Nails - another business in the shopping center below my work. They give the best spa pedicures on the planet, and I know I won't drive all the way up here just to get one in the future, so I think I'm going at lunch for one last pedi! This is my hideout when the office got too stressful - downstairs and right into the massage chair.

4. All the nice people I've met up here in Sorrento Valley - from Qualcomm, Claritas, Compuware, Websense, and more. It's made working in an office with 3 people much more enjoyable!

Things I won't miss:

1. The Tejano music coming from the car wash below my office wafting into my ears all day every day.

2. The fighter jets from MCAS Miramar flying about 50 feet over my building every day, scaring me to death!

3. The women from our business neighbors' office on my floor talking to me in the bathroom as I'm trying to do my business. Yes, I'm ordinarily very friendly, but not while sitting on the toilet!

4. The 805! Need I say more? Even if I find a new job in Sorrento Valley, I look forward to a small break from the traffic madness. Hallelujah!

Well, Blue Oasis Technologies, vaya con Dios and thanks for everything.

Love, Mer

Monday, August 06, 2007

Cocktails for Choice - San Diego

For all my pals here in San Diego, I would love to have you join me at Cocktails for Choice - come and support Planned Parenthood's mission while enjoying a glass of wine at the inaugural party at the Wine Cabana in Old Town. The $10 cover includes complimentary appetizers and specials on featured wines will be provided.

The Wine Cabana is conveniently located near the Old Town Trolley Station. Planned Parenthood encourages public transportation use and carpooling.

Thursday, August 23rd, 2007
7:00 PM - 10:00 PM

If you'd like to attend this event you can purchase tickets online:


I hope to see you there! Love, Mer

Funny Monday!

I just came across this and though it was absolutely hilarious - it's so true!!! Enjoy. Love, Mer

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean)

10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")

9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)

7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

6. I've got a boyfriend (who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's).

5. I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)

4. It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)

...and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually means)

1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet. It's that male perspective thing)

Friday, August 03, 2007

Inspiration!

I just signed up to volunteer for Barack Obama's campaign - I truly believe he's going to change the world. I haven't been inspired by a political leader in a very long time, and I'm excited, encouraged, and motivated by what this man has to say.

Don't worry, Hillary, I still love you, but this guy has got what it takes to rally a nation.

Barack Obama for President in 2008!

RAVE! Pandora.com

Wow, this site totally ROCKS! My friend Sheridan, up in Silicon Valley, recommended this to me. Perhaps he's more tied into cool technology being up there, I don't know... but I can't talk highly enough about this site!!!!

So Pandora.com is a free streaming music site that allows you to enter an artist who embodies your favorite kind of music, and electronically matches the sound of that artist and plays similar songs continuously, without commercial or breaks, based on that artist you chose. For example, I entered 'Madonna' and the site has been playing amazing electronic dance song after another and I can't stop dancing in my chair today!! You can create different "stations" based upon different artists; I think I'm going to create a jazz channel based on Dave Brubeck and a country station based on Rascal Flatts and see how those turn out.

To achieve this awesome technology, Pandora has been working on the Music Genome Project for several years. The project has utilized 50 musician-analysts that have been listening to all genres of music across all generations, one song at a time, studying and collecting musical details of every song such as melody, harmony, instrumentation, rhythm, vocals, lyrics ... and many more. That allows them to electronically compare songs and group them into comparable genres. How cool is that?!

Anyway, for those of you that listen to streaming music to ease the boredom of a desk job, you should check this out! I hope you like it. And thanks for sharing, Sheridan!

Love, Mer

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Deep Thoughts From The Gym

So it’s officially been one year since I got on a health kick and got myself back into the gym after a few years of hiatus – last August was when I started my membership with Gold’s Gym. I’m proud of myself for sticking with my goal to shape up and reestablish healthy exercise habits. I am officially 10 pounds lighter than I was this time last year and I think with my new habits firmly in place now, I should be able to keep that off. I’ve been an on and off gym-goer ever since I was in high school, so by now I’m pretty well familiar with the goings-on in a typical gym. I’ve always wanted to compile my thoughts on being a gym dweller, and with the advent of The Mer Show, I now have that opportunity! So here goes...

First of all, one of my favorite things to do at the gym is to observe the regulars. I like watching them and trying to determine their purpose – is it to stand around and look pretty, attracting the opposite sex? To genuinely work up a sweat? Make their muscles big and billowy so that other dudes respect them? Do they not have anything better to do, so the gym sounds good? (I confess – sometimes that’s me!) I like trying to figure out their story. Like is the little blonde bimbo a college student? Stripper? Bored on a Tuesday night? What does the guy with all the tattoos do for a living? Waiter? Musician? Trader Joe’s bagger while he writes his screenplay? I like to give the regulars names. In the past I named two girls that followed each other around the gym giggling Amber and Jerri, for the girls on the first season of Survivor; the buff black guy in my spinning class Walter (Payton); the skinny, tall white gay guy in my Body Pump class Eugene, because he’s such an awkward dork. Then there’s Meathead, Rockabilly, Heather, Smoothie King, and more…

I have a lot of pet peeves in the gym. What is with girls that wear jewelry such as bracelets and dangly earrings? Is that necessary? And I can’t stand dudes that wear really overpowering cologne to hide the fact that they’re wearing no deodorant – gross! And when people leave a machine all wet and sweaty without wiping it down? There have been times I really had to stop myself from assertively approaching people. When people mouth the lyrics to the song on their MP3 player or the gym stereo, I’m not sure whether to giggle and watch or what… it’s such a train wreck!

One thing that really freaks me out is overweight group fitness instructors. Does that mean that if I attend their class, it’s not going to work? I mean, surely they exercise more than I do – if they teach a couple of classes per week and still have a belly roll or fat arms, is their class worth my time? I guess it’s not realistic that every instructor is going to have a perfect body, but subconsciously, I freak out a little bit if my instructors don't. On the other hand, how about those 50 and 60 somethings who look positively AMAZING?! There’s a 60 something lady in my spinning class on Saturday mornings who looks like a million bucks. She inspires me to get my booty in there and cycle!!

Now trainers… these are an interesting lot. Why do all of them give me the creeps? Most of them are in amazing shape, but they’re all so… creepy! Many of them stand around leering at the gym-goers and I’m not sure if they’re browsing us for potential business, potential dates, or just bored. There’s one at my gym now that sits at his little desk and flirts with girls as we walk by, and I watch him leering at people throughout our workouts. I just to work the front desk of a gym when I lived in Malibu in 1997 and the trainers used to talk about their clients all the time. It was enough to inspire me to never hire a trainer – pay someone $50/hr to gossip about my saddlebags and how much better I would look if I just got lipo and implants… NO thanks!

I’m not even going to get started about locker room etiquette. And I’ve never even been in a men’s locker room (shiver)!

And lastly, to my spinning instructor on the occasional Friday morning when I get up early enough… The Smiths, Morrissey, and Nine Inch Nails is not motivating music to make me want to work out, OK? I mean all three bands are amazing, but not at 8:00 a.m. while sweating my ass off! How about a little dance/ house music, cheesy pop, rock, disco, or something with some energy? That would be greeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaat... thanks!

So is it just me that finds the gym such an interesting study in sociology? How about you guys? Got any funny stories or introspective observations?

Love, Mer