Easy Come, Easy Go

It’s so interesting how people come and go from our lives – lovers, friends, colleagues, enemies, and even family. Closest friends one year can be complete strangers the next; lovers in your heart and your bed can be extinct in a matter of days or weeks, and even close relatives can even become distant. It’s such a natural order of life, but the feelings that such loss elicits can be very powerful. Believe me, I’m experiencing it now!

There are so many people from the past who are strangers now, but meant a great deal to me at the time - people I loved, respected and touched my life and heart in poignant ways, people who got me through certain situations (like moves, divorce, breakups, job changes, etc.), and friends who held several different purposes – social, professional, intellectually inspirational, romantic, or even out of convenience. In return, I give them my time, energy, loyalty, honesty, trust, advice, support, and love; it's the best I have to offer. But I guess God puts people in our lives for different reasons, and perhaps people expunge themselves when they are no longer productive. And that does include me from others' lives!

Now that I’m in my 30s, everything is suddenly so different; I feel like my level of clarity has increased tenfold. Don’t get me wrong – my 20s was really monumental… I graduated from college, started my career, got married, divorced, traveled the world, made friends, learned lessons, dated, partied my head off, lost friends, and did I say learned lessons? But just like when I turned 26, I’m experiencing another major life transition… it’s very powerful and definitively real. My desires, priorities, things I enjoy, and motivations are suddenly extremely different. And the people that I seem to be gaining and losing from my life are reflective of that transition, too. Obviously, I’m experiencing major growing pains, but just have to keep the faith that it’s all for good reason. Just like the last major life change, outside a few good people in my life (most of which are out of state), I’m relying more on myself every day. I’m not sure that’s how I want to be, but the disappointment of relying on others and having that support system implode, is not worth it. Does that mean I’m jaded on inviting new people into my life? I don't think so... well, I hope not.

Eleanor Roosevelt famously stated once that "Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart" and I believe that, too. I feel lucky to have many footprints on my heart, many interesting acquaintances that live in my memories, and a few great friends who I know love me unconditionally, as I do them. And as I go through this life transition, the best I can do is be true to my own purpose, and I know that fulfillment will find me.

Meanwhile, I am accepting applications for new pals in San Diego. My personal ad would go something like this: Wanted – new friends. Must love food, wine, music, dogs, politics, and appreciate fine conversation. Club dwellers, addicts, bitches, and non communicative, immature, and insecure people need not apply. What do you think?

Love, Mer