Dear Britney Spears,Here was your chance, darling, to jettison the dead weight in your life and start over. You made some bad decisions, but you were given another chance to make your life better - don't waste it! It's not too late - you can still get back on track!
You forgot to to call me - remember, I offered my services a fabulous divorcee consultant? I definitely wouldn't have approved his head-shaving business... And the loser actor-wannabe that looked just like your ex? Not so much.
On another note, you're sure making me feel better about how I handle breakups. Thanks!
Love, Mer
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