Letter to Ali, The Bachelorette

Dear Ali,

First of all, I think you seem pretty genuine, intelligent, and fun. If we met, I think we’d be friends. With that, I’d like to give you some friendly insight as to you why you keep failing at love. Believe me, I know a thing or two about failing at love OVER AND OVER AND OVER, but look at me now – I’m married to my best friend, have a cute kid with another on the way, and am very happy. So please, hear me out…

Here’s the problem: you fall in love with jerks. You have to break the pattern if you’re going to have a real chance at happiness. You fell in love with Frank because he was hesitant about you – it was obvious that he had something “holding him back” (as he said about 20 times in last night’s episode). I mean, he was the only one that didn’t repeatedly express his interest in being with you and that “he was there for the right reasons” (another phrase which I’m sick of, but you get the point). I’m guessing that in the past, you probably fell in love with other Franks and got your heart broken, and that’s what you’re going to continue until you QUIT DATING THE SAME GUY OVER AND OVER AGAIN, AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS!

You need to step outside your comfort zone and start giving the nice guys a chance. Yes, it’s different in the beginning. Maybe you’ll start out with a strong friendship, and things will move slowly and you won’t see that “instant connection” that you had with Frank. It’s going to grow slowly, over time, and THAT is the relationship that’s going to stand the test of time. Yes, some women find that instant connection thing and it ends up working out in the long term, but sista, you and I are not those women, because we have “instant connection” with bad people. You need to change your stripes, and it’s going to feel strange, like detox… but it’s what you need to do. Detox yourself of the shitheads you’ve been dating.

Is that clear? If you want to hug it out, or talk, call me!

Love, Mer